The EverElusive Dove
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day fifty-three: 12 Days of Gleekmas, day 2: Kurt recalls the greatest love story he knows, and wonders about his own love story, or lack thereof.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a second cycle. Now entering the seventh through ninth weeks, here comes cycle 3 of my gleekathon!_

_I wanted to do something Christmas-y, but not overly so, but then the song was perfect for this. So the stories in and of themselves aren't Christmas-themed, just the thing that inspired them is ;) You'll see :)_

_So presenting... **The 12 Days of Gleekmas - Day 2:** Kurt + "Two Turtle Doves"_

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**"The Ever-Elusive Dove"  
Kurt**

He'd wanted to appear unflappable to Rachel. Not even an inch of flapping. That was the idea as she went about trampling all over his hopes for himself and Finn. She wasn't going to get through his shield, he wouldn't allow it.

It wasn't Rachel who had finally made him… flappable. It was Finn… and Quinn… or rather the sight of them walking down the hall together, arm in arm. It had turned him and flapped him away.

He wanted that. He wanted the love story. He'd grown up hearing about the greatest one of all… his mother and father. In his heart there was no story that could surpass the tale of the Hummels. Whenever he'd feel the need to hear about her again, to live in her memories, his father would tell him.

It always started the same way. His father was just starting at the shop, which at the time still belonged to Eddie Hansen. He'd been working under the hood of an old Chevy, doing his best to fix the mess created by the clueless owner, when he'd heard from behind him… her voice.

"Are you the owner?"

He'd been so concentrated on his work that the sudden interruption made him startle. The next thing he saw were stars, as he knocked the back of his head against the hood. He stumbled and may have crashed back to the ground if not for the presence of a pair of surprisingly strong hands, steadying him on his way to sit on the ground.

"Are you okay, I'm so sorry, I…"

"I'm okay, just a little stunned," he promised, finally looking up to find her crouching at his side.

He wasn't sure if it was the blow to the head, the morning light, or some kind of natural aura, but he thought for sure she was some kind of angel…

"She really was…" he would say, giving Kurt a wistful smile.

That was what he wanted, as frightening as it could be… true, deep, it'd-hurt-so-much-not-to-have-you-anymore love. He wasn't sure how it would happen, if he'd realize it the way his father had…

He didn't know if that was what he saw in Finn. He only knew how much he wanted for something to come to pass and tell him he wouldn't spend his whole life yearning after someone who would never look at him the way he did.

For so long he'd kept up that mad, foolish hope that Finn Hudson, in all his tall, uncoordinated glory, would one day decide to take his business on the other side of the love divide. And Kurt… Oh, he'd be there like a shining beacon, a welcome wagon…

In a way, he knew what he was doing. It was easier to hope for something he was about as close to achieving as he'd ever gotten, than to admit to the fact that he was alone, with no valuable prospects in sight. To everyone else, he was a joke… a perfectly compact dumpster tossee. Finn actually treated him like a human being. Not to say he was the only one, but he was just a case apart.

So if he couldn't have Finn, he just needed to open himself up to… new possibilities… right? He didn't know himself as too brave of a person, not in this context.

His father hadn't been brave… not the way he explained it. And yet he'd had his chance. The angel who would come to be Mrs. Hummel had little to no skill when it came to the operation and maintenance of a car. It was a miracle she could even drive; she'd admit it herself. Even the gas fill-ups were a problem. So he'd offered his services, whenever she needed them. He'd filled up her gas tank time and again over the course of ten months, learning more and more about her and loving her more each time, before he'd finally stumbled his way through asking her out. Her response was "I was starting to think you'd never ask."

Maybe he didn't need bravery… He needed someone who had patience… He also needed someone who liked boys, and it was becoming clearer every day that it would never be Finn Hudson.

He didn't know when or how to let go of him. He would either have to hold on to that far-fetched idea, like a life-jacket while he braved the open, the unknown… or he'd need to just let go of the anchor before he could ever get anywhere… either way, he apparently had the market on nautical metaphors cornered.

He wasn't ready to let go just yet, that much he knew. He didn't want to listen, to let Rachel's words define his reality… not just yet.

It had been ten years since his mother had died. He wasn't over it, neither was his father… when could they ever? But he could be six, ten, sixteen, or seventy-five… he would always want to hear the story again, imagine it in his head. His favorite place to hear it was at his father's shop. That way he could look around and conjure up pale ghostly images of young Burt Hummel, meeting his angel, falling in ever-lasting love with her, at the same time she fell in love with him.

THE END


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